Hacker Speak

Why are there so many women haunted by a low self-esteem ?

I have shared many thoughts through out my articles on feelings, jealousy, worries, fears, and self-esteem. Every day I receive mail from all over the world from women suffering from a lack of inner power to get through the day, due to a low self-esteem. It does not only affect their relationships at home, it also follows them into their work place, where they are being suffocated from a lack of confidence.
In the work place the power of self-esteem needs to be high so that ones confidence can guide them through actions such as: important decision making, dealings with an opposite sex boss, office politics, other staff members trying to gain on your efforts, talking to clients or customers on the phone or in person, dealing with rejection regarding your work, and even things as simple as fitting into the social side of your job (making friends). People deal with this everyday, and when they are suffering inside, their power of self-esteem is definitely very low. Then they still have to deal with the rest of their day. It’s no wonder the corner bar looks like a nice hide-away.
There are two parts to the meaning of the power of self-esteem:

1: self-acceptance, which is an appreciation of ones worth as a human being.

2: self-confidence, the knowing that you are competent enough to use your gifts to their fullest.

To have the power of self-esteem, one must be able to feel both emotions in a positive manner.
Through ones life, they have learned through negative experiences to doubt themselves, to fear criticism and ridicule. They have also learned to cut themselves down at a glance of someone else they deem to be richer, prettier, or smarter. They eventually lose the power of self-esteem.
We can run through our past, over and over and over again. We can bang our heads on the wall, we can create eating disorders in ourselves, we can cut up our bodies just to feel something, or we can even turn away from everyone we love and cherish for fear they may just find that one tiny keyhole to unlock our self-pity trap we are in. We can do just about anything to not find the strength to gain back the power of self-esteem. It is after all the easy road to take, is it not? To fail, to cry out for sympathy, to get attention, even if it is the wrong attention. I have learned one very important thing in all my work through helping women gain the power of self-esteem, no matter how many times you see someone prettier, skinnier, richer, taller, smarter, happier, better spoken, or with a colgate smile you envy, the sun will come up tomorrow with or without you. Your worries and self-pity caused by your weakness to control the power of self-esteem that is inside of you. It is waiting to be used as the gift that you were born with. You can spend hours hurting and suffering inside because you are not, or cannot be who you think you should have been. You must stop allowing yourself to feel threatened by the world. When your mind feels threatened, it will automatically react to protect you. This is where your thoughts and your actions collide. Confusion becomes part of your thinking now and this is when the negative emotions take over fast and furious. Into the pit, you go.
The ability to shift your focus to positive mental thoughts during stress is the most important link needed to escape any emotional trap we fall into. The power of self-esteem is all about your first thought and how you deal with it. It is at that split second that you have to decide to think positively or just plain toss it out of your head. Tossing negative thoughts is something I have mentioned before,”HABITS”.
Your goal is to offset the mind-body reaction to the stresses we are constantly forced to deal with through society. The power of self-esteem can be gained if you really want it. I know that I have filled my website and my articles with everything from A-Z on steps to get you there.
Women are still in constant belief that only over weight woman, or not so pretty woman (by society`s standards) are at risk of losing the power of self-esteem.
Again I repeat this over and over, please read ,”Why Do Pretty Girls Cry”. It’s all there. I speak of the pretty girls, and society`s way of convincing you that only ugly girls cry. I know that is a harsh statement, but I am trying to get through to every person on earth that the power of self-esteem is in each and everyone of us. We are all born with it. Yes we all have our reasons for our weaknesses. OK, now that we know that, lets move on. How can we fight off the negative thoughts that bring us down? Through my thoughts in my website and blogs, you can educate yourself and learn to improve your thinking habits. It is possible, but not easy at all. That is the reason so many of you fail to gain the power of self-esteem. You have no consistent learning strength. You fear anything that takes time and dedication.
Then why is it that you will search endlessly through every search engine for ways to get you through this hell you are in, pay a nonsensical amount of money to a therapist to tell you what you already know, cut yourself, or make your body suffer through eating disorders, not to mention put yourself and your friends in so much turmoil over your inability to create better mind over matter habits? Can you see what I see there? I see that you do have the power of self-esteem. You do have the patience, the will and the strength to shine. You do not need to worry about anything. You choose to worry and you allow the negative thoughts. Ask yourself the next time you feel threatened, “If I do not stop this negative thought, will it change who I am, or make me that of which I envy?” NOT and NO!!!!! Please realize this, only you are suffering in that pit. Only you are losing out on all the smiles that life has right at your reach. You are in control of your happiness. You can toss off all those comments or remarks. You can turn your back on someones else’s weakness or problems that may cause you to feel less than who you really are. Let them suffer in their own stupidity. No one can threaten you, but you. Do this also when you feel the challenge of negative versus positive thinking:

BREATHE DEEPLY

IDENTIFY THE NEGATIVE

NOW THINK THE POSITIVE

ACT UPON IT

BREATHE AGAIN DEEPLY

PAT YOURSELF FOR WINNING THAT WAR

NOW SMILE

YOU NOW HAVE, “THE POWER OF SELF-ESTEEM!

Trust me here, the more you create this habit, my friends, the easier it becomes. Like anything else worth having in life, it is not going to come easy, but it does come and it is oh so sweet!!!!!!

*********************************

“You cannot stop the birds of sorrow from flying over your head,

but you can stop them from building their nests in your hair.”

-Chinese Proverb

Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

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There are many retirement communities available everywhere in the country. There are retirement communities who may offer the world to you and those who would provide you with the best comfort you need.

But how do you choose which retirement community you want to spend the rest of your life in? What is the basis in finding the suitable communities in your neighborhood?

In considering retirement communities settlement, make sure you know these useful information:

1) The Basics of retirement communities.

* Retirement communities are occupied by active and healthy adults whose ages range from 50 and above. These communities offer you retirement and the chance to pursue your dreams and interests while living comfortably.

* The advantages of living in retirement communities consists of the services each location provides and the conveniences it brings to your life. Most of these communities offer a variety of services like medical care, house maintenance, sports activities and leisure.

* Retirement communities were originally made as apartments. But today, they range from fully furnished houses to a hospital-like facilities where you could mingle with other folks. The majority of these retirement houses have safety precautions on floors, walls, electricity and much more.

* The cost of purchasing a house in retirement communities may vary depending on the location of the neighborhood and its services.

2) Know your needs.

* Independent. If you?re planning to live alone, think of your daily meals. The majority of these retirement communities provide meals to their residents. The retirement communities like these, provide an atmosphere and surrounding for retirees who can deal with living on their own.

* Congregation facilities. These are the types of retirement communities, which usually look like condominiums. In these homes, each unit is provided with a cord or a buzzer to have communication with the management if problems occur. The meals, transportation and house maintenance are provided for. They provide assistance to the senior, but give daily tasks for each to accomplish. This is the most common and most sought after retirement community in the market because of the wide range of activities and services it provides.

* Assisted living. The food they provide could be specially balanced depending on your diet. If you need assistance in eating, there are services that can provide you with complete medical and caring assistant. There are also services offered such as bathing and financial management. The needs of the retiree are taken care of, but their freedom is maintained.

3) Specifying needed facilities.

Knowing what you need in retirement communities would give you choices on what community to find. There are some who offer chore services and home maintenance, but on the other hand, there are some that don?t. Choosing the most suitable retirement community you would buy will depend on whether your needs are provided for or not.

4) Expressing your lifestyle.

* Are you adventurous? Or did you always wanted to try fishing? Have you had enough of adventure and just wanted to learn new things? Is bible study an option for you?

* Education. Because it?s your time to just sit and enjoy life, search for retirement communities that provide access to your favorite sport, hobby, and interests. Check to see if the location has spaces for golfing, billiards, aerobics, badminton, or fishing. Although many of the retirement communities strive to enhance their services by adding sports features, you still need to inquire if they provide the sports you love.

* Sports. Many retirement communities offer learning facilities. Check their activity schedule and find out if they could provide you with knitting, painting, computer courses and many more. See if the community has a group forum for education.

* Culture. Events are important because living in a retirement community is like camp. Learn if the retirement communities offer fieldtrips to museums, concerts, picnics, and many more.

5) Choosing your retirement community. With all of these selection listed, you will now be able to lessen your choices. Before choosing, decide on what state you?re going to live in. Location is very important. Know if there are hospitals in the vicinity. Then, start on finding which community would be perfect for your need.

Live the life you’ve always dreamed of. Retirement communities provide any kind of service you need. Purchase your own and share it with your loved ones.

For more great retirement info and advice check out: www.retirementlivingadvisor.com

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Remnants of the free love generation have thankfully survived and in recent years a sexual revival has resurged in the American psyche and bedroom. This time, however, the participants are a bit wiser and more sophisticated in their sexual exploration. As a result sex toys, once limited to the margins of society, have come full circle and are now in the mainstream of American living. Individuals and couples who had never before tried sex toys are now doing so for the first time. And yet, there still remains some who are scared of introducing sex toys into their life.

This fear comes in large part from a misunderstanding about the uses and ramifications of sex toys. They imagine that sex toys are limited to extreme versions of fetishism or that somehow sex toys are a means of separating you from your partner. These two conclusions cannot be farther from the truth.

With the recent explosion in the popular usage of sex toys, manufacturers have created a wide array of products designed to meet the needs and interests of everyone. While certainly there exists a wide array of S & M products on the market today which those interested in find extremely fun, there also exist a number of products designed for the novice user.

The sex toy industry is completely aware of the desire for many individuals to keep their toys discrete. As a result, a number of products have been designed with that end in mind. Vibrators that look exactly like lipstick containers and lotions and lubricants which are described with terms like ‘relaxation’ rather than more explicit sexual terminology come to mind. The discrete design and packaging of sexual toys allows even the shyest of individuals to feel comfortable.

With fears allayed as to the nature of sex toys, the next question is about their effects on an existing relationship. Whereas in decades past sex toys were largely limited to single individuals or those focused on a particular area of sex, normally labeled fetishism, recently sex toys have been brought into millions of couples bedrooms. Sex toys can be a new and exciting way to spice up sex between a couple who has been together for some time. It can also be an excellent way for couples to explore new areas to find that something works better for them. In effect, sex toys, rather than creating division between couples, are often a source which brings them together in new and exciting romantic situations.

Susan Atibizi recommends www.deepmemories.com if you are interested in shopping at an online adult toy store.

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A lot of betters have asked “Why would I require a rakeback deal? I just play at poker websites when I have an incentive.” What happens if you decide to take card playing up professionally? There are too many betters who are extremely dissapointed at not taking Full Tilt Poker rakeback however like a shot they have now opted in for all the leading poker web sites. Do not let this happen to you.

If you are someone who stakes less than one or two dollars and only bets if you are clearing bonuses, you could be getting usually around 100% rakeback considering the bonus payment on the bet. A certain leading web site have recently shut down gamers that played on the site exclusively for this kind of play. No one knows for sure if this will inspire a trend. Should this materialize then right away a rake back offer is going to be imperative. Rakeback Deals

Some day you may just hit top form and get extremely successful, that is if it has not occurred by now. I was injured in an accident and came across online poker whilst recovering and I never looked back. That occured over 2 years ago and believe me I have never had a job since then due to internet poker and rakeback offers. It’s always great idea to look ahead. Believe it as an investment for tomorrow, even if you don’t suppose rakeback is appropriate for you at the minute it surely could be an outstanding deal shortly, there is no risk involved. If you are thinking about signing up for a new poker room checking out rake back has to be a great idea.

The Rakeback Professionals website is pleased to be associated with so many reputable affiliates. Savoring the profits can be as uncomplicated as going to a Rakeback Professionals partner site or even as simple as e-mailing. Any partner can easily set everybody up in no time. You will be set up to play straightaway. If you sign up with a partner thru Rakeback Professionals you can always rest easy as every single partner will have been checked out and furthermore have agreed to permit Rakeback Professionals to arbitrate any dispute which might take place. Since we investigate our affiliates, we have had hardly any issues and in addition we will always work swiftly to correct every concern for the peace of mind of any gamblers.

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PART OF PRISON REFORM SERIES

I was sent back to UIC for a follow up on August 26, 2003, in order for the specialist to review my lab results from the blood drawn July 30, 2003. Dr. Ghosh and Nurse Viscum refused to send the lab results with me to the consult. Without these results the specialist would be unable to recommend the restarting of my HCV treatments. The specialist ordered new blood tests and that I be returned to have an ultrasound done of my liver for the very first time, along with an Upper Endoscopy exam of my stomach and biopsy of the stomach lining.

I was returned to UIC on September 10, 2003. Once again the staff from ADDUS Healthcare refused to send my latest lab results again preventing the UIC specialist from recommending the restarting of my HCV treatments. They did the Ultrasound of my liver and the Endoscopy exam to my stomach with a biopsy, and ordered new blood tests.

Blood was drawn on September 16, 2003 on the U.I.C. specialist’s orders. I was not sent back to UIC until October 14, 2003. Once again Dr. Ghosh, Nurse Viscum and the ADDUS Healthcare staff refused to send my lab results with me from the blood tests. Specialist is unable to recommend the restarting of my HCV treatments for the third time. This despite the fact all my blood levels had been back into the “safe” range for months. The specialist ordered new blood tests and that I be returned so he could perform a biopsy of my liver for the first time in more than three years of treatment. Treatment that was designed to be completed in one year. Rate of success from proper treatment was just sixty per cent. Malpractice had reduced my chances of success dramatically. The liver biopsy was done on October 22, 2003.

November 11, 2003, I was returned to U.I.C. ADDUS Healthcare again refused to send my lab results with me from the blood tests. The specialist was only able to give me the results from the liver biopsy and schedule me for a Colonoscopy, trying to find what was causing my daily diarrhea and severe intestinal pains. Beginning the first week in September, the prison doctors refused to treat me for this problem.

The results from my liver biopsy were very sobering. Due to the sabotage of the two previous courses of HCV treatments, the virus mutated into a more virulent and aggressive form. It came back with a vengeance and almost completely destroyed my liver. Cirrhosis/ fibrosis is now extremely advanced. I am near what they call End Stage Liver Failure. A fancy way of saying I will die soon. Re treatment may not be possible due to the toxicity of the medications. He wanted to study the biopsy result some more, get the Colonoscopy done to rid me of the persistent intestinal infection, then we would sit down and discuss possible treatments, weighing out the risks and dangers.

As of this date, the IDOC, Agency Medical Director, Dr. Willard Elyea, S.C.C, Medical Director Dr. P. Ghosh and the corporate officers of ADDUS Healthcare are refusing to return me to U.I.C to get the required Colonoscopy done to cure me of the infection and daily diarrhea I have endured since September of last year. Also to get a new treatment plan worked out with the U.I.C. specialist which could possibly prevent me dying from liver failure. I am in daily pain. The medical staff at Stateville C.C. will not see me at Sick Call as I have requested daily since November 11, 2003. They are leaving me to rot untreated in this cell, until I die, which they figure will solve this problem. I desperately need help and fast. I have typed this letter to send to anyone and everyone for whom I can find an address.

Our form of Government is claimed to be one of the people, that all public officials are directly accountable to “we the people”. Anything they do, they do in our names. The crimes I have documented in this letter, they continue doing IN YOUR NAME. Would you physically torture another human being? Would you stoically watch another human cry out daily in severe pain from a terrible untreated disease, slowly killing him while withholding the needed treatments? Taunting; in his face just out of his reach, until he dies. They are doing this in your name.

If we as a society of an enlightened and evolved beings, take upon ourselves the moral authority and “right” to cage our fellow beings for what we have deemed to be unacceptable behavior; we must, at the same time, assume the unquestionable duty and responsibility to provide the basic human necessities for those we choose to incarcerate within our prisons. This includes proper food, shelter and medical care. It is a fact the deprival of any one need for a helplessly caged human being, constitutes cruel and sadistic physical torture.

We seem to have forgotten a basic, and fundamental truth underlying the American penal system. We send fellow human beings to prison AS THE PUNISHMENT for wrongdoing, NOT TO BE PUNISHED in addition to the social isolation. Somewhere along the line we have allowed our fundamental concepts and basic understanding of just punishment of fellow humans to be corrupted by pandering politicians. Turning punishment into the intentional infliction of physical pain, suffering and murder. Justice becomes criminal itself. Right is right. Wrong is wrong. We don’t need any two faced, paid political whore to tell US what a proper form of punishment should be. Don’t get caught up in the carefully choreographed emotional propaganda put out daily by the massive multibillion dollar prison industrial complex and the self appointed governmental elites. Don’t allow them to sadistically torture fellow people by withholding needed medical care to prisoners IN YOUR NAME, under your moral authority. There can be NO legitimate excuse for it. We are NOT supposed to be a nation of sadists and torturers, or else, what the hell are we doing in Iraq?

Without your help and assistance in casting the spotlight of public attention upon these prison officials, I will die from deliberate medical malpractice. They thrive on the darkness of anonymity and will only respond to outside scrutiny and public pressure to save their jobs and not embarrass their political masters. Please do not allow my voice to fade into the darkness unheard, with my death.

I am only 44 years old. They are seizing the opportunity to change my prison sentence into a death sentence, executing me. If I were to be given a lethal injection, it would be more humane than being left in severe physical pain from this untreated and mistreated, deadly liver disease and additional serious medical conditions as a result of malpractice. The slow rotting of my internal organs.

Please help me if you can. Attorneys, please take up my case. If you know of an attorney who might, please forward this to him/her or anyone else who might help. Write letters to these IDOC officials on my behalf and many others enduring medical torture and execution. Write the elected public officials, print this letter on your Websites. E mail it, FAX it, anything you can think of. Without treatment soon, the odds that I will be here this time next year are very slim. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for any help you may be able to provide. I would love to hear from each of you and will try to respond to all letters, health permitting.

Jimmy Kinslow

Jimmy Kinslow #B 67033
Stateville CC
P.O. Box 112
Joliet, IL 60434 0112
)

Freelance writer published on websites and
newspapers.

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I believe that every moment of existence holds within it, somewhere, a key to your true nature. So as you read this article, do so as if this could be your key, and let’s see which doors it opens within you.

There is a simple fact of nature that I would like you to consider - YOU ARE ALREADY PERFECT!

All of nature, or existence, or reality, or whatever you prefer to call it, is already perfect.

There is nothing outside of you that you need to find to complete you. You are already complete.

There is nothing you need to achieve. There is nothing you need to get, do or become. Everything you need to “be you” is already within you. You are perfect, as is all other creation.

A rock is a rock. It doesn’t try to be anything other than itself. It does not look elsewhere for its identity. It just is, and it’s perfect.

A tree does not try to be something it’s not. It’s a tree. And it spends its time just being. Without struggle, it is what it is- perfect.

I have a cat named Schrody. Now Schrody lives an incredibly free life, because he simply is who he is. He spends his time just being Schrody. And he does it perfectly.

There is not one example in nature, living or non-living, which is not already perfect. Including YOU! You are perfect right now- exactly how you are meant to be.

If you were meant to be something or someone else, then you would be.

If you were meant to have something else, then you would have it.

If you were meant to achieve something, then you would have achieved it.

You are already perfect, just as you are.

So why don’t you feel perfect? Why are you not happy? Why are you looking outside of yourself for that something else which will complete you?

Perhaps because you falsely believe you should be something else? Something other than what you truly are. You are refusing to accept reality. You fight what is, and that’s a fight you can never win. You believe you should be richer. Or have a better job. Or a different relationship.

These things are just your external environment. And if you wish to change them, you can certainly do it. The circumstances you live with now are a result of your choices so far, and you can create a new life for the future by choosing to make changes in your life, and taking appropriate action.

If that is your desire, you can change your finances. You can change your career. You can improve your relationships. And making these changes will certainly make your life different. However, they cannot make YOU better. It’s impossible to improve on perfection.

Personal development and growth does not improve you. It simply expands your awareness of the truth- that you are already perfect.

Until you recognize this fact, you will continue in your suffering. Happiness cannot be found outside you. Happiness comes from within, when you give up the illusion, and just love yourself unconditionally.

So! How about no more thinking, “I should be this…”, or “I should have that.” How about thinking, “I am exactly who I am, and no-one could do a more perfect job at it than me.”

Be happy being who you are.

Lance Beggs

Lance Beggs is the author of the “How to be Happy Now” newsletter, and the soon to be released “How to be Happy Now” book. His mission is to help others live a life of meaning, love and happiness! Subscribe to his FREE Mini Course and ezine at www.HowToBeHappyNow.com

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Fight or flight - our automatic response to danger. When fear is present, adrenaline pours into our system to prepare us to fight or flee - from the tiger, the bear, the lava from the volcano….

Fight or flight - today we automatically respond this way to the present dangers, the deep fears that come up in relationships: rejection and engulfment - fears of loss of other and loss of self.

Often, when we feel rejected and fear the loss of the other, we fight for love not to go away by defending, explaining, blaming, attacking, complying, fixing, or we flee through withdrawal. Often, when we feel engulfed and fear losing ourselves through being controlled by another, we flee through resistance or withdrawal, or fight by attacking, defending, or explaining. Just as our ancestors fought or fled from physical danger, we fight and flee from emotional danger. The problem is that, while fight or flight is appropriate in the face of physical danger, this same behavior in the face of emotional fear causes deep problems in relationships.

When we respond automatically to the fears of losing ourselves and losing another, we behave in the very ways that create fear in the other. Our fight or flight reactions create fear in the other person - the same fears of losing themselves or losing us. Our fighting and fleeing activates others’ fear of rejection and engulfment, creating a vicious circle of fighting and fleeing.

These unconscious, automatic reactions to emotional danger were learned long ago, when we were very small and had to rely on fight or flight as part of our survival. Today they are now longer necessary for our survival, and need to be replaced with loving actions toward ourselves and others.

What does it mean to take loving action in the face of another’s fight or flight behavior? Where do we get the role modeling for what it looks like to take loving action in the face of another’s unloving behavior? Most of us had parents who did not role model loving action in the face of conflict. We have not seen much of it on TV or in movies. How do we learn to take loving action in our own behalf when in conflict with another - action that takes care of ourselves without violating or threatening another?

This role modeling exists in the form of our spiritual Guidance. Tapping into this Guidance is not as hard as you may think - it just takes practice and a deep desire to move out of fight or flight and into loving action.

The steps we can take to move out of automatic fight or flight and into loving actions are:

1. Start to attend to your feelings, the physical sensations within your body that let you know when you are anxious or afraid.

2. Stop and breathe when you feel fear or anxiety in the face of conflict, or in the face of another’s fight or flight behavior. Give yourself some breathing time to make a conscious decision rather than go on automatic pilot.

3. Open to learning with the source of spiritual Guidance that is always here for all of us by asking with a sincere desire to know, “What is the loving action? What is in my highest good and the highest good of the other?” Asking this question with a deep desire to learn opens the door to receiving information. It does not matter whether you are asking this of your own highest self within, or from an external source of wisdom. The information will come in the form of words, pictures, or feelings when you sincerely want to be loving to yourself and others.

4. Take action on the information you receive.

Examples of loving action are:

1. Move into compassion for the other person, recognizing that he or she would not be in fight or flight without being in fear. Asking the other person, again from a deep desire to learn, what he or she is afraid of that is causing this behavior may de-escalate the situation and lead to understanding and healing.

2. If the other person is not open to calm discussion and exploration of the conflict, disengage from the interaction, speaking your truth without anger or blame. For example, you might say, “I don’t want to fight with you. I’m going to take a walk and let’s try to talk about it later.” Or, “This isn’t feeling good between us. Let’s take a break and get together later.”

3. If the other person has withdrawn from you, loving action may be to do something fun or nurturing for yourself.

Both staying and learning together or taking some time apart to reflect on the issues or self-nurture will break the cycle of each person going into fight or flight in reaction to the other person’s fight or flight. It takes conscious practice to stop going into automatic behavior, but the payoff is well worth the time it takes to practice loving action.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

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