Hacker Speak

I was just thinking about something I’d like to share with
you, and hopefully it’ll give you something to think about
as well. I was remembering when I took a motorcycle riding
safety class when I was 23 years old. I had no previous
riding experience, aside from a bit of mountain biking with
a 21-speed, and I figured it wouldn’t be too much different
going from that to a motorcycle. Yes, it gives me slight
grin now, too.

Boy was it was crazy, I couldn’t have been more wrong! I
imagined myself just climbing on and riding off into the
sunset like a pro. But when the time came and I actually
sat on the bike for the first time and rode a few hundred
feet, it was quite an eye-opener, to say the least. I felt
like I was 15 years old again, with a driving permit in my
wallet and my mom in the passenger seat. Those familiar
emotions were running through me again — apprehension,
confusion, excitement and fear — only this time I had more
life-experience under my belt to better manage them all.

Sure, having driven a manual transmission car for many years
did help control the motorcycle, but it was still pretty
foreign. But with time, practice, and making plenty of
mistakes, I got pretty good at it. Eventually, it became
second nature. And even now, after all the experience I’ve
gained, I’m planning on taking an advanced riders safety
course.

This reminds me of internet marketing. Maybe you are just
starting your first online business, or maybe you are on to
your second or third and are now marketing those. Where
ever you are at, the amount of business experience you have
will vary from most everyone else; but here’s a fact no
matter how long you’ve been doing it: if you don’t practice
internet marketing, it will never get any easier.

Internet marketing is just like learning to ride a
motorcycle or drive a car. Before actually getting into the
thick of it, people may tell you “Oh, it’s so easy!” or “All
you have to know is this, that’s it.” Even when you think
about the steps and procedures beforehand, you can convince
yourself that you have it all planned out and it’ll go off
without a hitch. But once you actually do it, you get that
much needed reality check.

Internet marketing isn’t something you can just “do” and get
right the first time around. Yes, it is important to take
advice from professionals you trust and who are where you
want to be, and to read their eBooks and what not. But it
is much more important to actually get out there and do it
yourself. Guru’s can point they way, but they can’t give
you experience. To be successful at internet marketing, it
takes focus, concentration, and especially practice.

Just like using a clutch, you will mess up your marketing.
You may gun it, and offer your customers a product that
would’ve sold better had you waited. You might pick a
product you are not really qualified to market. Whatever it
is, be it headlines, sales copy, product placement — you
will get it wrong some of the time. But the more you
practice marketing, the more you read about people who are
doing it correctly and effectively, the more you write and
rewrite, the better you will get.

Eventually, you will develop a “sixth-sense” of what is good
or bad — marketing will become second nature to you.

Most people are looking for the easy way out. That’s why
“get-rich quick” schemes are selling so well (and ruining it
for us legitimate netizens, damn it!). But those people
never reach their ultimate goals, because there is no
legitimate, fool-proof quick way — especially one where you
can keep your conscience clean!

All those who are determined to succeed, who try and try
again and do not stop despite all the obstacles in their
path — those are the ones that will succeed, guaranteed.
You can do anything you want in life; no one can stop you
but you, and this does include financial independence.

Ask yourself what you really want out of life. Would you
rather catch the new episode of ‘Friends,’ or spend time
strengthening your sales copy? It’s easy to get distracted,
but stick to your guns and re-do it for the tenth time.
Just remember, for every time you get something wrong, you
are that much closer to getting it right.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Palyn Peterson publishes the acclaimed Advanced Internet
Marketing News. A professional newsletter with a
refreshing perspective and a strong focus on no-cost
techniques. http://FutureInternetMarketing.com
FREE Tips, Tricks, Tools, Resources, eBooks, and More!

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I sat down to write my weekly humor column, but I just could not remember what I wanted to write about. This seems to be an increasingly more common affliction, ever since I turned 40. For instance, like most people over 40, I often can’t remember my age.

In fact, I am quite certain I am not yet 40. How do I know? Well, I can’t remember turning 40, for starters.

But memory loss is nothing new for me. It began when I was born. Try as I might, I just cannot remember being born. This strikes me as strange. Birth is arguably the most momentous and triumphant event in a person’s life. It is the reason I am alive. It is my coming out party. Birth is a tremendous opportunity for personal growth and a fairly important prerequisite for developing proper social etiquette.

People even celebrate the anniversary of my birth every year by converging on my house or throwing heart-attack-inducing Surprise!! parties. But strangely, none of the birthday celebrations have helped me remember my birth. Even stranger is that people who could have no memory of my birth, such as my wife and younger brothers, keep celebrating it.

Perhaps memory loss is the result of trauma. We block out from our memory traumatic events. Like birth, for instance. Imagine being squeezed through a steel toilet paper tube with mucus and blood and other assorted ooey gooey stuff, with something resembling an alien tentacle protruding from where your bellybutton is supposed to be.

Sure, birth was my highest moment of triumph, but I am in no hurry to repeat it. I prefer to retire while I am still at the top of your game.

Little Sister had a more traumatic birth than many, and we posted her child birth story with pictures at: http://www.thehappyguy.com/birth-story.html . Fortunately, she did not retire at the top of her game, as she continues to improve.

I have never been able to remember names either. Perhaps that is because meeting people is also traumatic. I say that in jest, because that is what I am supposed to do in a humor column, but many people find it very traumatic to meet new people, which is one of the reasons I recommend them to The Fine Art of Small Talk:
http://www.thehappyguy.com/book-review-small-talk.html

I, on the other hand, find it traumatic to meet old people. One reason I work from home, sitting in front of a computer screen, might be to avoid too many stand-up receptions trying to remember the names of strangers I’m supposed to know. I just can’t remember their names.

It’s not totally true. I can often remember names, I just can’t seem to attach them to faces, which I hear is a common problem. Like many people, my brain-glue was recalled for factory defects. I should have opened that recall notice when it arrived.

One game you can play to help attach names to faces is pin-the-name-on-the-donkey. This works great for people with defective brain-glue, because it uses ins instead of glue. I suggest you do this in your mind, not in the actual reception room. Many people object to having things pinned to their faces, and a few might even object to being called donkeys. Most importantly, you could be in violation of local safety ordinances, especially if you use a stapler.

Another common strategy many people use to remember names is to repeat the person’s name several times. However, I think that sounds a bit silly.

“And who are you?”

“It’s Trina.”

“Hi Trina, how are you?”

“Just great. How are the kids?”

“Trina, the kids are doing very well. How are yours?”

“I don’t have kids.”

“I see, Trina.”

“After meeting every month at this function for the past decade, I thought you would remember that I have no kids. By the way, why do you keep repeating my name?”

Perhaps meeting people is less traumatic than being born. At least I do remember meeting people, and not always waking up in a cold sweat. And I do remember their names. And I do remember their faces. And I even remember a few of their birthdays. But try as I might, I don’t remember any of them being born.

Now, what was I going to write about this week? I just can’t remember.

About the Author

David Leonhardt is a humor columnist:
http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html
Read more humor and funny stories:
http://www.thehappyguy.com/humor-articles.html
Read quotes on happiness:
http://www.thehappyguy.com/definition-of-happiness.html
Read more on aging gracefully
http://www.thehappyguy.com/aging-gracefully.html

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